The post-graduate life has consisted
for me of two diametrically opposed experiences. The initial phase
was characterized primarily by a marked absence of time. I defended
my dissertation the day before classes began for the Fall Semester,
and thus my defense celebration was notably low-key. Not only did I
have to wake up the next day and teach, but I had to go home that
evening and prepare for my first day of teaching. I had two preps,
which in the grand scheme of things is not an excessive load, but
working a part-time job in addition added considerable stress while
low-level depression, anxiety, and sleeplessness contributed a
perennial exhaustion. The money was good, the stress was bad.
This semester, though, I continue to
think in terms of semesters. This is despite no longer having any
formal connection with a university. My work with the National
Humanities Center keeps me coming to campus most days, but I'm no
longer a student or a professor, and since the entirety of my adult
life has been defined in those terms the transition has a
psychological component as well. It has been nice to take some time
essentially off - to have days where I did an hour or two of real
work and ten hours of recreational reading, indie gaming, Netflix
watching, or similar. The tidal wave of money which washed over my
life last semester (for four months, I earned the median US income!)
left enough on the beach to ameliorate financial pressures for quite
some time, but the time on my hands has slowly become a problem to be
managed rather than a pleasant vacation.
My immediate aim is this: to shake off
the infantilization of a graduate education and self-consciously,
intentionally, and with malice aforethought to create a new kind of
life for myself.
